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acceptance
August 2008 
Goofy, Sexy, Acceptance
mel
You may have noticed my new pictures. They are my exercise in authenticity and acceptance. You see, like many women, I struggle with being comfortable about my appearance. I've not had to deal with weight issues, and find my body to be even, well, sexy from time to time. I have issues with my face, though. I don't have the type of face that would be considered "textbook pretty". I find my face to be, well, goofy looking.
So, if I'm feeling this discomfort, why post my pictures to the World Wide Web?? Why post this blog?? I'd like to say that I've become totally accepting, and see the inner beauty, yada yada, and make this a feel good blog, but I want to be authentic. I look in the mirror, look at pictures of myself, and the criticism begins. In the last year or two, the age process has started to set in, as well. If I couldn't accept my appearance in my youth, how am I going to accept it in its decline? I've been around aging, cancer, the look of mental health issues, and could see the beauty in them. Why is it so hard to see beauty in myself?
I recently heard someone say that authenticity is your soul coming through. I can see the beauty in that.
Access: Public
Beautiful, Mel !
I really honor what you have to say….becoming more authentic and accepting of who you are. It's making me wonder how many people really think themselves beautiful or “textbook pretty.” I usually take awful pictures and my mother just recently made another comment about my wild hair. I still sometimes look in the mirror and say, “Who IS that person anyway?” because she doesn't match with any interior image. Yet other times I'll actually see a glimpse of myself as someone possibly pretty, someone vibrant. But the pretty one seems to come and go. My daughter is (I think) beautiful and she has very little sense of it. She tends to see herself as average, and sometimes looks more at what's challenging than the beauty that's there. What I'm trying to say in this rambling is that it is hard for us to see the beauty in ourselves. I looked at your pictures and would have never once thought of you in terms of lacking any outward beauty. I looked at the pictures and thought, “Wow, what an interesting person” because that's what shines through. The light in your essence shines through….and that's what I hope shines through me….and my daughter, much more than any fleeting physical beauty.
Last week I interviewed a woman who has her own hair salon. She commented to me that her greatest wish was that women would come in and say “I know I am beautiful, and all I need good haircut!” She said this because over 90% of women come in and say things like “my face is too fat”, “my nose is too long”, and “my chin is too square” and they want her to help “fix” them through their hair style. She said that most times women seem not to be able to see how beautifully they are and that their face is perfect and sexy without worrying about some particular feature.
So I celebrate your posting Mel and may you say the next time you go to get your hair cut “I am beautiful and have come for a good hair cut!” because your are! And I think maybe “textbook pretty” only exist after air-brushing and photoshop.